UNITED STATES—I was recently watching a reality series about siblings and man, when you talk about ugly fighting, I’m talking ugly. Low blows, secrets being revealed and fighting. It was dark, it was nasty and it was upsetting to watch. Why? It had me thinking about my siblings to say the least.
I do not have the greatest relationship with my youngest brother. He is a bit of an a**hole. So much to the point that I limit interaction with him, whenever possible. The stories I can tell, they are horrifying, but I will give you slices of that mayhem so you can understand where I am coming from. I am someone who has six siblings.
We are all different in our own types and we all sort of have an archetype. One that defines you as a kid, and one that defines you to some degree as an adult. It is weird because sometimes the scars you earn as a kid, do follow you into your adulthood. My brother refuses to acknowledge his bad behavior, and when you call him out on it, he refuses to address it. I’ve never seen someone so unmotivated to do anything when it comes to life I cannot explain.
We cannot have a conversation without things getting heated because he’s either drunk or high most of the time. I used to engage in the arguments, but then I realized that was something he wanted. Misery loves company, but I have since learned to stop. DO NOT ENGAGE! DO NOT GIVE THEM WHAT THEY want. It raises that question why do siblings tend to have rivalries? Is it just common practice? Is it jealously? Personality clashes? Who is the superior sibling? Who is the most respected sibling?
Truth be told it can be a ton of things to say a least, but there is always a rivalry. I know some of my siblings are jealous of me. Why? I guess because I’m not like them. I don’t drink for starters. It is something I have never been accustomed to doing and it is something I have no interest in doing. Alcoholism is prevalent on both sides of my family, so could that be a reason why? Maybe, maybe not, but I just don’t care to have a hangover or a meddling headache like some who indulge in alcohol a little too much.
There has been peer pressure to indulge, but I’m strong enough to hold my own. Perhaps the one troupe that annoys me to death, is the ‘Golden Child’ comparison. I would NOT consider myself a ‘Golden Child;’ being this person who is so polished and perfect mistakes never happen. I just believe in following a straight line and doing what you’re supposed to do, so if that makes me a ‘Black Sheep’ compared to my other siblings so be it.
It used to annoy me dearly, but I’ve learned to embrace it. My siblings are going to poke, and at times I do poke back when I get annoyed. However, at the same time, the reality of the situation is some siblings have rivalries that are just wickedly cruel and nasty. Has it gotten to that degree with my siblings? Not really, but there have been some situations that have made me say, “Enough is enough.”
I gotta take a break from some siblings; the dynamic and nastiness is just way too much for my mental state. Why? Siblings can indeed break you in the worst way possible, and you can’t just sever it. Its blood, and that’s the thing about blood relatives especially siblings; they will cut you deep and you’ll have to grapple with rather to forgive them or cut them off completely.
Not easy to cut people off, because while you’ll sever ties for a while, you will always come back to some middle ground. However, the moment you physically attack me or utilize words that cut so deep you cannot take back, we’re done people. I’ve lost a level of respect for you and even if you’re a sibling, we might not get over that. If we do it is indeed going to take some time to put perspective back into place to understand what would warrant that level of rage from my own brother or sister.
